Thursday, January 19, 2012

Green Pest Control ~ A Battle Tale

I do not like bugs. No bugs of any kind do I like. Anyone who knows me, knows this. I run from bugs and scream like a little girl when they are after me. Of course, they are after me. It is a known fact in the bug world that any bug who can bite or sting me will be elevated to insect royalty. There is a bug bounty on my head!

Knowing my aversion to the little creatures, God blessed me with my best friend. Her husband, Brian, is a pest control guru.

One of the most common insects I deal with in my house is gnats. I love to buy those big bags of ripe bananas from the grocery store for 99 cents. Unfortunately, a few little critters always come home in the bag.

Once upon a time, the gnat army executed a well planned and orchestrated attack on my kitchen. What seemed like several thousand of the best of the extreme warrior gnats hid in the perfect bag of bananas that I was sure to pick up on my stroll through the produce section. When I got the bag home, they swarmed out like a wave at my head.

I did everything I could to fend them off, but it was to no avail. I even tried my old trick of luring them into the microwave with a ripe banana, slamming the door and nuking them.

Of course, I always thoroughly clean the microwave after resorting to this battle tactic.

It didn’t work this time. I was outnumbered and being overtaken.

They were winning the battle on all fronts. I knew I had no choice but to call for reinforcements. I called Brian, knowing that he would bring out some big-gun chemical to eradicate the invaders. I typically avoid chemicals at all costs but this was a matter of life and death.

Much to my surprise, Brian shared with me his secret gnat weapon – apple cider vinegar in a jar!

I ran for my recycle or repurpose bin where I was collecting empty yogurt containers to start my garden seeds in. I pulled out a few containers, filled them halfway with vinegar, covered them with foil and punched small holes in the top.

I spread gnat traps like land mines throughout my house, with a heavy concentration in the kitchen. Slowly but surely, they were all lured into the traps by the sweet smell of the vinegar.

The next day I had yogurt cups full of drowned gnats. Victory was mine!

I then created the ultimate gnat trap – a repurposed glass jar with screw on lid with holes punched in the top. It sits safely hidden on my kitchen counter with just enough vinegar to attract any new little pest brave enough to stow away in my bananas.

...and I lived happily ever after.

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